Instructions.

Why can’t people be clear when giving instructions so we can all avoid any confusion and misunderstandings?

I may have mentioned before that I bought a treadmill. And what a waste of money that was.

For the first six months I did not lose any weight at all. The instructions it came with were indeed very clear and concise as they told you how to put the machine together. In less than an hour I managed to get all the pieces together and have a fully working treadmill.

But nowhere did it say that you have to stand on it and walk!

Life these days is full of misleading notices and instructions. Like those “Walk” “Don’t Walk” illuminated signs you see in the street. Whenever I see them I get all confused. Why can’t they have signs that say “You can cross the road now” and “Don’t cross the road now”? See … it’s simple.

I visited an old museum the other day and down a corridor there was this notice that said “Mind your head”. As I walked I wondered what it meant and then I hit my head hard against a low wooden beam and nearly knocked myself out. The notice should have read “Please lower your head as you pass through this corridor in order to avoid hitting it against the low wooden beam”.

And it’s not just notices that can lead you astray. Instructions too!

The other day the lady in the Satellite Navigation System in my car, let’s call her Helen, got me all confused.

Helen, who no doubt is two hair colors away from being a total blonde, told me to do a U turn at 70 miles an hour on the highway. She decided I was going the wrong way … or perhaps she was holding the map book upside down.

Then she got into an argument with my wife. Helen said “Turn left”. My wife who was reading a map book said “No … turn right”.

I was in a quandary. Two women with conflicting advice. Which one to obey?

Helen repeated, “Turn left”.

My wife said, “Don’t listen to her … I told you to turn right”.

I said “Why can’t you speak gently like Helen?”

I got a slap in the face and Helen said, “You have now reached your destination”.

I’m really getting fed up with unclear and obscure instructions. The packet of easy-cook rice read “Take sachet out of packet and stand in boiling water for ten minutes”.

I did just that and burnt my feet!

Why can’t instructions be clear and to the point?

Like the Ten Commandments for instance. They are precise, to the point and unambiguous.

All we need to do is obey them to the letter. Not debate them and re-interpret them to suit our own selfish and self-centered modern lifestyles.